#Sharing The Load

A son is a mothers pride. He is burdened right from the day he is born, to carry the weight of the surname, the reputation his father built or the success his father couldn't. In either case he is the one everyone's eyes are on. Its a proud moment when he does well for himself in his career but when he becomes a fine gentleman, a human being; a mother is more proud of her creation as that is what speaks for her upbringing. I am happy I raised a fine human being in my son, but the day I realized it was the best one of my life.

I had been feeling unwell for a week now. My son was coming back from the hostel after six months and I was spending all my time in getting his favourite things in place, ingredients for everything that was to be fed to him, setting up the wireless for he cant live without the Internet, cleaning his room etc. It had consumed me and just after the day he landed fatigue caught me. It was his first break after he had left home for the first time in the hostel, but like every mother I was fretting if he was getting well nourished for he had just lost much weight because of terrible food and bad hygiene standards there. I felt terrible the evening I couldn't get up from bed when I fell ill. He just told me to sleep and gave me medication. What he did next surprised me. With a little help from the aunt next door he managed to find, rice and lentil and made me worlds best khichdi ever as I wasn't able to eat much. He also made soup. 

Not just that when his father returned he ensured he was fed well, washed all the utensils, cleaned up the kitchen and everything was perfectly in place the next morning. I took ill for about four days in which he cleaned, cooked , did the laundry and everything. I never felt I wasn't the one running the house. His father was surprised too and helped him. I never knew my son was so capable, that he could manage a family and not just himself. When I told him I was proud, he just said my sister would have done so and I am no different, when we care we share everything.

For the entire break-time then he would spend more time with me helping me side by side and that is the time that we work together for our home is what we look forward to, each time. Now I don't worry about him that much. 

 “I am writing for the #ShareTheLoad activity at BlogAdda.com in association with Ariel.” 

#ShareTheLoad With Love

The era in which we were born and brought up didn't have equality as a basic right for women. Women were left to the kitchen and had to ensure the needs of the family are met. Families, big and small; with lesser or many women was the women's problem. The men like bosses in a corporate office would only see if they got what they wanted, their comfort. Things have recently changed however. Not just the fact that women can speak what they want, men are now being very considerate and the couples now-a-days help each other with everything. Life is always better that ways.

My husband was brought up in a family where women were to do all the chores. I accepted the norm in his family as mine was similar. My daughter however had different thoughts. She was bold about expressing her opinion and as the time changed, she not only grew up to be responsible but trained my son (her younger sibling) to be completely independent. She could of course manage things more than he cool, be it food, cleaning or laundry but he could manage breakfast. When they left home for their careers no wonder they adjusted very easily to the surroundings. I always wanted to go and visit them but my husband being a doctor believed in serving more. He wouldn't take an off and he was dependent on me. He couldn't even make his own tea and so I couldn't go anywhere, not even to visit my children. Even for events, parties and weddings I had to ensure all his things are set and then I would go. I had to return back by night. My daughter was once visiting us and she me tired returning from a wedding and my husband said "I am craving for tea", I instantly got up to make it. Being someone who would never think of failures, she just told her dad "Let me teach you how can you make your tea, yourself". Fathers listen to daughters and she rarely came home, so he went thinking of it as time being spent with her. She however had other goals. She made her father learn to make tea in the next three days. 

It was the time when I could really get a break when I came from work as my husband would now not demand for tea. I could lie down, read , do whatever I wish to as compared to earlier when I had to do other duty, that of a provider. She also taught him basic cooking like instant foods and so now I can go anywhere I want and I am not complaining when I am back for my husband takes care of everything. I am happy though late even our generation has learnt to share life and the load. 

 “I am writing for the #ShareTheLoad activity at BlogAdda.com in association with Ariel.” 

She Is Everything Beyond Situation With A Smile

She smiles at you and welcomes you with a warmth fading away from human beings. People come to her beauty parlour for that also I suppose. What each woman needs to look good is a personal touch and Shweta di as we call her does just that. Her smile travelling to the eyes that beam as they welcome you. When she jokes around and entertains you as she gives a perfect arc to your eyebrows or pays attention to the smallest scar while tending to your skin you would feel she is the happiest person on earth. But when in a rare moment of sadness on a bad day after two years of knowing her she reveals she is bringing up her two children single handed, by running a small beauty parlour for women in a middle class locality in a small town in Gujarat, you will just wonder ...do you even know her? How does she hide the pain? Upon asking these questions she answers with a smile "I chose to be a mother to a daughter and another daughter". That in short defines a lot but what she has endured and yet dared to embrace the And is an inspiration for every woman.

A fair bride, a good sum of dowry, gifts for life and a son or better more sons, are some of the demands from a daughter in law across classes in India. It was more so of in the era gone by, and do instead of spending on Shweta Di's education her parents saved for her dowry as do most Indian parents. A huge mistake that is costing one everything. Soon after Shweta Di's marriage her in laws would abuse her for being dark coloured. They demanded for more and more money, which her poor parents couldn't afford. Knowing she never asked and was beaten up regularly by husband and in-laws. Then came the greatest crime a woman in Indian society make, give birth to "a girl child". They abused and pressurised her again and she was pregnant once more though doctors suggested a break in between. When do Indian women have those privileges? 

She clearly remembers the faces after second delivery. It was her mother in law first and then her husband, with the worst expression on their faces uttering the words "its a girl again, why can't you just produce a son for us". The child was abandoned by everyone and the operated mother Shweta Di picked her up. When she was taken home plans were being made to kill the child, not welcome it. It was all there a huge tub full of water. Her mother in law took the baby and drowned it. She cried and fought and before it was too late she took it back. They hit her, injured her like animals, she took it for her daughter. Then they said it "If you wish to live in this house, drown the child". How could a mother, any mother in the world do that? She chose her child. She left for her mothers place but they were poor people and for how long could they sustain her. Her mental condition broke, she knew she had no where to go, she was alone and had two girls to bring up. What would she do?

She was being treated at a Psychiatric hospital. As the medication helped her forget her problem and de-stress she decided to live her dream that she had before marriage of being a beautician. Not having enough money for professional courses, she would go to local beauticians who needed assistance and would teach her. The little money she got home, was welcome and so was she more welcome than the burden before. She learnt little by little, step by step and when confident enough she set up her own. 

Today she earns on her own, has her personal outlet, a flat and is now learning English. Her husband couldn't find another fair skin bride it seems or now needs her back she isn't taking him, for her he is the devil who wanted to kill her daughter. Her daughters study in English medium school and she only saves for their education. 

Her journey is yet to achieve its destination but she has started, the best part she always smiles and if you didn't know her closely you would feel she is happy woman. Its the local hero's like her that motivate me. She was given a choice to be a mother or a wife but today she is an excellent beautician and the mother of a girl child and another girl child and an amazing fighter at that.

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.